Ready to address digital well-being? Start with SEL.
In today’s digital age, the conversation about how technology is affecting the health and well-being of our kids (not to mention ourselves) is inescapable. This dialogue is unfolding in homes, schools, therapeutic settings, and community spaces around the world. As caregivers, educators, and therapists, we’re doing our best to navigate how to support children while both new technologies and research on their impacts are rapidly evolving.
Many of us already teach skills like self-awareness, self-management, and responsible decision-making, all cornerstones of Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) instruction. The key is to connect these SEL skills to kids’ digital experiences so they can apply emotional regulation and problem-solving both online and off.
What is Digital Well-being?
What we know for certain is that the line between online and offline life is increasingly blurred, especially for young people. As educators and well-being champions, we’re already deeply engaged in kids’ SEL. But one area that often gets overlooked while supporting SEL is digital well-being: The ability to use technology in ways that support mental and physical health, relationships, and overall quality of life. Let’s consider how we can integrate digital well-being into our existing SEL work, using some of the strategies we already have at our fingertips.
Understanding Online Wellness in Context
Digital well-being isn’t just about screen time; it’s about how technology fits into our lives in healthy, sustainable ways. For today’s kids, especially those transitioning into adolescence, their online and offline worlds are deeply intertwined. Here are a few statistics to illustrate this:
- By age 8, one in four children already owns a smartphone. (The Common Sense Consensus: Media Use by Kids Zero to Eight. Commonsense.org, 2025)
- The average 13–18-year-old spends 8.5 hours per day on screen entertainment media. (The Common Sense Consensus: Media Use by Tweens and Teens. Commonsense.org, 2022)
Digital and screen-based media has become central to kids’ social lives, learning, and identity development. As adults, we often default to viewing digital media as a net-negative for kids. While concerns about overuse and harmful content are valid, research shows that digital spaces can also offer community, connection, and a sense of belonging. The challenge is to help kids navigate it in ways that support their well-being, rather than eliminate it altogether.
Swapping Control for Co-Regulation
Our typical approach to managing kids’ tech use starts with control; such as setting time limits, monitoring content, and restricting access. This can work well for younger children, but as they grow, we often expect them to self-regulate their tech use without teaching them the skills they need to be successful. When they struggle, we double down on control, which research shows is not developmentally responsive. Kids of all ages need opportunities to learn and practice digital regulation skills, with our guidance along the way.
Author Erin Walsh lays this out in her fantastic new guide for parents and caregivers, It’s Their World: Teens, Screens, and the Science of Adolescence (2025).
Even if parents hold off on phones or social media, young people will encounter online risks and challenges at some point. The question is whether they will have developed the skills to navigate them. In other words, how will they be able to deal effectively with online risks if they haven’t had any practice?
Our role as supportive adults is to be a partner to our kids, not just an enforcer. This means prompting them through regulation, helping them set goals, and checking in on a regular basis. This paves the way for kids to self-regulate with increasing independence as they develop into young adulthood.
