Regulation Skills Hub

Regulation Skills Hub:

Your Complete Guide to Self-Regulation, Co-Regulation, and Emotional Regulation

Regulation skills help us notice and respond to our emotions, energy, attention, body signals, and behavior so we can work toward goals, meet the demands of a situation, and support our well-being.

This guide explains what regulation means, how self-regulation and co-regulation work together, and how supportive adults can help learners build these skills at school, at home, and in the community. It also connects each topic to a deeper resource from The Zones of Regulation for skill-building. Whether you’re an educator, therapist, caregiver, or school leader, this resource hub will help you make sense of supporting regulation in your day-to-day life.

Written/reviewed by Leah Kuypers, MA Ed., OTR/L
Occupational therapist, Autism specialist, and creator of The Zones of Regulation

 

 

What Are Regulation Skills?

Most simply defined, regulation means to adjust, manage ,or control something so it works well. When applied to humans, regulation can go by many names, such as “self-control,” “self-management,” “emotional control,” “anger management,” or “impulse control.”

These terms all describe a person’s ability to adjust their state of alertness, energy level, and emotions to help them attain personal goals, meet the demands of the situation around them, and gain a sense of well-being. Being regulated does not mean feeling calm all the time. Sometimes alertness and excitement help us participate; at other times, we might need rest, movement, connection, or a change in our surroundings.

What Regulation Looks Like in Everyday Life

At school: A student notices they’re feeling frustrated, asks for help, takes a short break, and persists through a challenge.

At home: A child prepares for a transition, uses impulse-control with siblings, and checks in about feelings with support from a caregiver.

In the community: A learner uses strategies to manage sensory overwhelm, waiting, and their energy level during an outing.

 

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Watch Leah talk about "What is Regulation?"

Why Are Regulation Skills Important?

Your ability to regulate your emotional, physical, and energy states is critical for being able to work toward your goals. Regulation is key to having fun, completing tasks, working effectively on a team, maintaining healthy and meaningful relationships, achieving academically and in your career, navigating the community, and having an overall sense of well-being. Suffice it to say, it plays a huge role in finding success in school and in life.  Regulation is a skill we can teach and learn, which is our mission here at The Zones of Regulation!

 

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Self-Regulation vs. Co-Regulation: What’s the Difference?

What Is Self-Regulation?

Self-regulation is independently managing our feelings, energy, and internal state in ways that help us meet our goals (whether personal, social, academic, or professional). It also includes navigating the demands of the moment and using tools and strategies to support our well-being.

What Is Co-Regulation?

Co-regulation is the process of connecting with, or being attuned to, another person to support regulation. We can both provide and receive it. An adult might listen, acknowledge frustration, adjust a demand, and help a learner choose a next step. Peers, colleagues, and loved ones can also co-regulate with one another.

As we develop our self-regulation skills, we still rely on co-regulation, even as adults. Whether we are talking through a challenge with a colleague or seeking comfort from someone close to us, we are co-regulating.

Watch Leah talk about “Self Regulation vs. Co-Regulation”

 

Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation in the Classroom

To understand the difference, consider two students who are feeling frustrated while trying to solve a math equation.

 

Jamal practicing self-regulation

Self-Regulation

Jamal notices his frustration, tells himself, “I can try another way,” takes a few breaths, and returns to the problem. These are self-regulation strategies that help him continue working; they do not guarantee that he will solve the equation immediately.

Riley receiving support from their teacher

Co-Regulation

Riley raises their hand and says, “I don’t get this.” Their teacher acknowledges the frustration, clarifies one step, and helps them decide what to try next. Riley has communicated a need, and the interaction provides co-regulation.

 

Both students are working toward the same goal with different kinds of support.

 

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Explore Co-Regulation Resources

What Is Emotional Regulation?

Emotional regulation involves recognizing, understanding, and responding to emotions in ways that support our needs, goals, and well-being. This management gives us the ability to become aware of, monitor, and have a sense of control over our emotions. Emotional regulation is part of “emotional literacy,” which involves understanding and regulating one’s own feelings.

Emotional regulation is also being able to notice, listen, and empathize with others’ feelings, resolve emotional problems, and relate emotionally to others.

Regulation is broader than emotion alone. A learner who appears upset may also be hungry, tired, overwhelmed by noise, confused by a task, or in need of connection. Attending to those conditions may be as important as teaching an emotional coping strategy.

 

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What Is Dysregulation and Why Does It Happen?

Dysregulation is the opposite of regulation and describes the imbalance in our internal state, such as when we physiologically feel “off” or are experiencing sensory overload in a busy environment.
In addition, dysregulation can be used to describe our emotions and behavior, such as when we aren’t able to manage our feelings and react with behavior that doesn’t serve us well. When we are dysregulated, our nervous system is often flooded with stress hormones that affect our brain and body and interfere with our well-being.

Recognizing and Responding to Dysregulation

Dysregulation can show up as withdrawal, restlessness, tears, irritability, or shutting down. But remember, observable behavior does not tell us everything about the internal experience. Lean in with curiosity: What might this learner be communicating? What support or environmental change could help right now? Once the moment has passed, we can reflect with learners to process what happened and make a regulation plan for next time.

As we build our emotional awareness and regulation skills, we gain a deeper understanding of what is happening in the moments when our regulation is not quite working for us. This awareness helps us to grow in our regulation, and to move on with more ease.

Make sure to give yourself and others grace when dysregulation occurs—it is expected!

 

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How Do Regulation Skills Develop?

Regulation is developmental, like learning to walk or talk.

This complex skill set develops through relationships, experience, direct instruction, and practice. Learners do not all develop skills at the same pace, and age, verbal ability, or academic performance alone does not tell us which support they need.

A useful developmental lens, informed by the SCERTS® Model, provides a way to think about the phases of regulation development that layer and scaffold upon each other.

Stage 1: Behavior Strategies 
Using movement, sensory input, or simple actions to cope, soothe, or regulate alertness.

Stage 2: Language Strategies 
Using words, gestures, symbols, or other forms of communication to express feelings and seek support.

Stage 3: Metacognitive Strategies 
Using reflection, self-talk, planning, and problem-solving to manage feelings, behavior, and goals.

These strategies build on one another, but development is not a straight path, and earlier strategies remain useful throughout life. A learner may use words to describe frustration and still need movement, sensory support, or connection with another person. Adults use these strategies too, such as taking a walk while talking through a challenge or using self-talk while taking a break. The support that helps may change with the situation and the demands a person is experiencing.

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Read How Regulation Skills Develop Over Time

Emotional Awareness and Interoception

Emotional awareness begins with noticing what is happening inside and finding a way to describe or communicate it.

Interoception is the awareness of internal body signals, such as heartbeat, breathing, hunger, thirst, or tension. These signals can offer clues about our needs and feelings, and we each will experience them uniquely.

Together, emotional awareness and interoception are key components of self-awareness. For example, a learner might notice a tight stomach and recognize that they are feeling anxious before giving a presentation in class. This self-awareness helps them understand that it might be helpful to regulate by taking a few deep breaths before it’s their turn to help them manage their feelings and meet their goal.

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Explore Interoception and Regulation

Executive Functioning and Regulation

Executive functioning refers to the mental processes that help us manage our thoughts, actions, and behavior in pursuit of our goals. Often described as the brain’s “CEO,” executive functioning supports the higher-level thinking skills needed for self-regulation, problem-solving, and decision-making.

Some key executive functioning skills that support regulation include:

  • Working memory
  • Self-talk
  • Flexibility
  • Planning
  • Impulse control
  • Problem solving

As executive functioning skills develop, learners become better able to reflect, adapt, make decisions, and use regulation strategies independently. For example, a student might use working memory to recall a helpful tool, flexibility to try a different approach, and planning to decide when to ask for help. A structured process to practice, along with visuals and adult support, can reduce the demands on these skills while they develop.

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Learn More About Executive Functioning and Regulation

Teaching Regulation Skills at School

As understanding about the importance of supporting regulation continues to grow, many schools are shifting from reactive behavior management approaches toward proactively teaching regulation skills as part of their social emotional learning (SEL) initiatives. Rather than focusing solely on behavior, educators can help learners build emotional awareness, communication, problem-solving, and self-regulation competencies through both direct teaching and the classroom or school climate they create.

A multi-tiered instruction approach can provide learners with consistent language, expectations, and support across settings and services. Programs like The Zones of Regulation® Curriculum help make this possible by providing structured lessons, common language, and practical strategies that can be used across classrooms, staff teams, and multi-tiered systems of support (MTSS).

Explore Schoolwide Implementation At-A-Glance →

 

5 Best Practices for Supporting Regulation at School

Start with the adults: Most adults never had the opportunity to directly learn about regulation while on the road to becoming educators. It’s helpful to build staff confidence and capacity for social and emotional learning through professional development and opportunities for practice.

Build a common language: Model ways to notice and name feelings, energy, and body signals. Invite learners to communicate through words, visuals, movement, or another accessible form. Avoid assuming that everyone experiences their feelings in the same way.

Design a supportive climate: All learners benefit from having regulation supports as part of their classroom and school climate. This can be consistent visuals, an accessible check-in for communicating feelings, and access to regulation tools such as a “regulation station.”

Provide co-regulation: Use a steady, consistent response when learners need co-regulation support. This can look like offering limited choices, reducing the sensory load, or checking in with a learner about how they’re feeling.

Coordinate across settings: Use consistent language and support practices with staff, caregivers, and the learner. A schoolwide approach can make tools familiar in classrooms, hallways, and other shared spaces.

 

See Outcomes for Schoolwide Regulation in Practice →

Build a Regulation Station in your Space →

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Supporting Neurodivergent Learners with Regulation

Regulation development is not one-size-fits-all. Learners with autism, ADHD, intellectual or developmental disabilities, or sensory processing differences may experience and express regulation needs differently. A learner’s experiences, including trauma and ongoing stress, can also shape what feels safe, manageable, or overwhelming and what support is helpful.

An individualized approach begins with understanding the neurobiological factors, lived experiences, and environmental factors that affect each learner’s regulation development.

Integrating learners’ communication and sensory preferences, strengths, and interests is essential to building regulation skills and designing support that responds to their needs. Regulation and compliance are not the same thing. The goal is to give learners agency to express and regulate their feelings, rather than demand that they follow rules or contingencies.

 

Explore:

See Regulation-Friendly Classrooms for Autistic and Neurodivergent Learners →

Explore Self-Regulation Goals for IEP Teams →

 

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Regulation in Therapy & Behavioral Health

Developing emotional awareness and regulation skills is a key focus of many types of therapeutic and behavioral health services including:

Occupational Therapy: Developing sensory regulation and coping strategies to support participation in daily activities.

Speech and Language Therapy: Strengthening emotional communication, self-advocacy, and expression of needs.

Mental Health Services: Integrating approaches such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to build emotional awareness, coping skills, and regulation strategies.

Play Therapy: Using play-based experiences to explore emotions, practice coping strategies, and build regulation skills.

Therapeutic support often includes individualized or group-based instruction to help learners develop regulation skills. Equally important is partnering with caregivers and families to build shared language, supportive routines, and co-regulation practices at home. When these approaches extend to school and other settings, learners benefit from more consistent, proactive, and individualized support.

For example, a clinician might help a learner explore what makes a busy setting overwhelming, identify a way to communicate their needs, and try supports that fit their preferences. Together with the learner and caregiver, they might plan for a quieter space, a shorter visit, or access to a familiar regulation tool. Practicing across settings helps the team learn which supports are useful in everyday life.

 

Learn more:

Building Bridges Between Home, School, and Clinical Care → 
Beyond the Classroom: The Zones in Clinical and Therapeutic Settings → 
Case Study: Supporting Children and Families at Nemours Children’s Health → 

 

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How The Zones of Regulation Builds Regulation Skills

The Zones of Regulation is a research-based framework and curriculum that teaches learners ages 4+ to understand, communicate, and manage their feelings. Beyond introducing the four Zones (Blue, Green, Yellow, and Red), The Zones of Regulation Curriculum brings this learning to life with ready-to-use lessons, visuals, and hands-on activities that can be adapted to different learners and settings.

Learners practice noticing their feelings and body signals, naming and communicating them, and explore tools that help them feel well and work toward their goals. Educators, caregivers, therapists and supporting adults build those skills alongside them through co-regulation and support learners to more independently use strategies over time.

 

Explore The Zones Curriculum →
Shop Subscription Plans →
Official Zones Training →

 

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What Does the Research Say About Regulation and Social-Emotional Learning?

Regulation skills, including emotional regulation and self-regulation, are part of a broader set of social-emotional skills that support learning, relationships, and well-being. Research on SEL and self-regulation interventions highlights several benefits:

Because regulation influences nearly every aspect of our lives, it is widely recognized as a critical predictor of positive outcomes across childhood, adolescence, and adulthood.

The Research Behind The Zones of Regulation

The Zones of Regulation is grounded in research on self-regulation, social-emotional learning, and metacognition. Its framework reflects evidence showing that regulation skills can be taught through explicit instruction, a shared language, and ongoing opportunities for practice and reflection. By helping learners build awareness of their emotions, energy levels, and regulation needs, The Zones supports the development of lifelong regulation skills linked to success across school, home, work, and community settings.

 

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Review the Evidence of Effectiveness

Common Questions About Regulation and Behavior

 

Can regulation skills be taught?

Yes. Adults can directly teach language and tools, model their own regulation, offer co-regulation, and provide repeated practice in supportive settings. Like other developmental skills, regulation skills develop over time, with each learner progressing at their own pace.

 

Does self-regulation mean doing everything alone?

No. Communicating about feelings and recognizing when to ask for help in the form of co-regulation is a valuable skill. People of all ages benefit from co-regulation.

 

Is emotional regulation the same as regulation?

Emotional regulation is focused on our emotional experiences and responses. Regulation is broader and also includes energy, attention, sensory and physiological states, behavior, relationships, and situational demands.

 

Does a learner need to be calm or in the Green Zone to be regulated?

No. Being calm and being regulated are not the same thing. The goal is to notice and care for one’s feelings, not to be calm or in an “optimal” Zone.

 

What’s the difference between dysregulation and “bad behavior”?

Dysregulation is what a person experiences on the inside, such as feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or disconnected. Challenging behaviors are often outward signs of these internal experiences. Rather than simply viewing behavior as “bad,” it’s important to consider what a person may be feeling or needing.

 

What can I do when someone is dysregulated?

Begin with safety and connection, limit verbal communication and avoidable demands, and offer co-regulation support that fits the learner. Reflect and problem-solve later, when the learner is ready.

 

Want to go deeper? Check out our Official Zones Trainings.

 

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